Caesarean section decided at the convenience of the team, episiotomy performed without consent , pain taken lightly or even outright denied, infantilizing or guilt- inducing words ... Gradually, the veil arises on gynecological and obstetric abuse.

More and more women are daring to report childbirth conditions, some of which are traumatic. But there is still little voice of midwives on this subject.

On the occasion of World Respite Week, May 14-20, we heard from one of them.

Often unhappy remarks about future parents

Midwife in a hospital structure for fifteen years in the great west, Séverine decided to go into liberal to offer parents comprehensive support; she follows them throughout the pregnancy, and the day of delivery.

Examples of violent gestures and words, or perceived as such by the parents, Séverine has in mind: "In preparation for birth, I sometimes had to reassure prospective parents, whom a sonographer had announced" your baby has a big head, " without realizing the impact that such a remark may have.For him, a" big head "is that of a baby who is at the top of the curve. to tilt the parents into their fears, the father imagines his misshapen baby . "

The worried mother wonders how she will do so that her baby is born from below ...

"If you move, I leave, you manage without epidural"

"Another example of this lack of communication and the sensation of violence that results: during a delivery, this impatient anesthetist who blackmails the patient.By the force of his contractions, it has trouble to remain still, and he the threat: "if you move, I go away and you manage without epidural." So here I am breathing with the woman of work to seek calm through the pain ...

More recently, I remember this woman who wanted a birth as natural as possible. She quietly starts her work and we quickly realize that the baby is in a seat. The obstetrician on duty is not reassured, and instead of expressing the fact that he would prefer a caesarean because the seat is more delicate, he announces to him brutally, whereas there is no emergency since the mother and the child are well: "You have to do a cesarean section! With the presentation of the seat, it's the head that comes out last, it can get stuck and the baby die, I do not take this risk, if you want to take it is your responsibility ". It is a very difficult situation for the mother. That day, I was terribly mad at myself for not having gone to Caesarean, but with words more "posed" than those of the doctor. "

According to the midwife, "it is when the practitioner gives in to his fears, his weariness, his impatience, or when the care of the woman who gives birth becomes dehumanized, routine, standardized , that leads to these obstetrical violence. denounced by the mothers. "

Violence of which the main actors are not even aware.

Medical markup, tense flow maternity: factors of lack of dialogue

The causes of this lack of dialogue between medical teams and women are many: "From the beginning of pregnancy, women are often caught in a medical markup which gradually dispossesses their ability to trust and question themselves on their real needs and desires around the birth to come.New generations of midwives have little opportunity to train themselves to natural birth.

The support they receive is modeled on the most common delivery model in the maternity wards, with quick access to the epidural, a mobility that is limited to the beginning of work, a delivery that must be fast . Likewise, when teams are tense, they do not always take the time to explain with simple words what is happening. "

Fortunately, as the midwife points out, "there are also exceptional caregivers, explaining to women the exams offered, taking the time to listen to them, respect their choices and guide them respectfully to what they want."

" I hope that this culture of humility develops within the maternity , summarizes Séverine, because it sometimes does not much that in place of the blockage, the woman who gives birth to rock in the confidence and letting go: a simple and sincere word, reassuring, a desire to understand each other, time to explain things, listening to fears. "