The paradisiacal beach, the idleness, and the image of Epinal holiday spent feet in the water and a cocktail in hand: that is what makes the most dream French honeymooners. In any case, this is revealed by a survey (conducted by the Zankyou wedding organization site), which places the top destinations of honeymoon Bali, Venice and Mauritius. Nothing surprising, considering that after planning the best day of his life, we hope to spend the most beautiful stays. But is this really what pleases most?

Extend the euphoria of marriage by going on a honeymoon

For almost a year, Isabelle, 32, prepared and organized her wedding in the smallest details. For her, the honeymoon was also a way to spend more time with her future husband. Married in September 2016, she flew with Axel, the day after the ceremony, for Mykonos. Agricultural engineer in an NGO, Axel is often absent and did not return from mission until a fortnight before the big day. Isabelle says: "We wanted to meet two and not especially plunge back into the daily just after the euphoria. For two days everything was chained, and we finally had time to talk to each other. Placed on a deckchair at the beach, we could talk together about what we liked or not about marriage, and remember what we had the most marked. We received text messages of thanks and photos that allowed us to extend the moment. "

Cautious travelers who prefer to stay in France, adventurous equipped with a backpack to go to a distant country or idle dreaming of a paradise where we do as little as possible, newlyweds dream especially of a unique experience . "We often see that the type of trip that is planned is in harmony with the type of ceremony," says Magalie, wedding planner in Annecy. Weddings with great fanfare often go hand in hand with the desire for a paradise beach, and weddings that you want more simple, with a destination and a more adventurous way of travel. In any case, what always predominates in speech is the desire for an exceptional moment that prolongs an exceptional day. "But how can the honeymoon keep a unique character as we move more and more, more and more far away, and that often couples have already gone on vacation together several times?

Popularized in France in the late nineteenth century, the honeymoon has historically a social function, says the sociologist Jean-Didier Urbain (1). Far from the romanticism and exoticism attributed to it today, "it is basically a rite of aggregation that seals the association of two families". More than just having a good time, it was about closing the tour of the family members who had to validate their couple. Today, the question of the destination of the honeymoon of Prince Harry and Meghan Clarke is the subject of all speculation across the Channel; rumors say they will go to Seychelles or the fjords of Norway. For the future Elizabeth II, in 1947, it did not take too much glamor. After her grandiose wedding with Prince Philip, long considered the wedding of the century, the young Elizabeth did not fly to Polynesia nor embark on a safari in Kenya. She stayed in the UK. First in Hampshire, at the house of her husband's uncle, then in Scotland, in a property belonging to her family since 1715. Thus perpetuating the family tradition of the wedding trip.

The honeymoon, a fugue guilt

"It is also, of course, an erotic fugue, continues Jean-Didier Urbain. The alibi of this eroticism is traditionally procreation, with the underlying idea that the meeting of two people will create a third, which will lay the foundations of the new family. It is a bit the only officially recognized form of sex tourism. The pleasure is totally assumed, whether sexual, discovery or gastronomic. Laura, 31, had known Ludovic for a few years when they got married, but she had never been far away with him. "This is the first big trip we made to two, and we both dreamed of Asia. We chose Bali, with the desire to discover a culture with our backpacks, but also to take a week of beach on the island of Lombok. There it was really heavenly. "

With an average budget of € 3,470 per person in France (2), this first bridal breakaway is often a luxurious parenthesis. "We had reduced the wedding budget as much as possible to save money for the stay. We thought that, hopefully, we would only have one honeymoon in all our lives. It necessarily gives you a unique side at this moment. If you announce during your bookings that you are traveling as part of your honeymoon, tourism professionals will not hesitate to redouble their attention.

Upgrading on the plane, rose petals on the bed and in the hotel bath ... "All these little touches" have made a great impression on Antoinette, 35, during her stay in Apulia, Italy. Her husband, Louis-Arthur, had everything organized so that the experience was different from their previous travels. "I do not even know how much it cost him. I just know it must be very expensive. One day, I told him that I would like to return to one of the hotels I had found splendid. He replied: "Given the price, we do not risk going back ... of our life." "An extraordinary travel status that confirms Isabelle:" We feel less guilty to spend more at that time. "

More than eight million posts have the hashtag #honeymoon on Instagram.

In The passion of marriage (3), the sociologist Florence Maillochon, research director at the CNRS, stresses that while the number of acts recorded in the civil registry is constantly decreasing, marriage has never been so much a source complete investment, both financially and psychologically, for couples who take the plunge. This craze to make her wedding a unique event extends into the honeymoon, which is part of a self-realization as a couple. As Jean-Didier Urbain explains, "marriage is less necessary, it is all the more a union of love and passion. The journey that concludes it thus became little by little the confirmation of the couple against the family and, contrary to before, a rite of separation from the world. It is a quest for oneself as being for two, apart from everyday life. "

The wedding trip and loneliness in the couple

In Honeymoon (a 2014 Netflix production directed by Leigh Janiak), Paul (Harry Treadaway) and Bea (Rose Leslie) go off, right after their wedding, to spend their honeymoon in a hut on the edge of a lake isolated from the end of the United States. Very soon, supernatural and terrifying events turn their enchanted parenthesis into a nightmare and, literally, into a horror movie. But what remains in mind is the reflection that the film proposes on loneliness in the couple: do I really know the person with whom I am supposed to spend the rest of my life?

A little more than a year after her marriage, Mathilde, 41, separated from her husband. If her honeymoon is not in question, she keeps a mixed memory. "The day after the ceremony, after the brunch, we flew to Hanoi . For three weeks, we crossed Vietnam. But upon arrival, I choked. The heat and humidity were squeezing my throat, just like our regular head shots there. He was not happy with anything that I had organized and we did not have the same desires at all ... In retrospect, it's a little as if I had begun to understand that something was wrong between us. More than eight million posts have the hashtag #honeymoon on Instagram. Many clichés of turquoise water, wild places, peaceful vineyards or gourmet dishes perfectly presented. But nothing about the silences and enigmas revealed by the first long tête-à-tête of these couples united for life.

1. Author of An Erotic History of Travel, ed. Payot. 2. Source: INSEE, study on the evolution of marriage in France, 2016. 3. Ed. Puf.